21 Comments
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Elise's avatar

I need to sit with this longer because I feel I’m in that space, living it right now. Just today I was thinking of how chronic illness takes so much life away from me and my natural penchant for it. Friends, experiences, regular bouts of connection, capacity and all the things we live for. I’ve not much to say except that this feels like a true mirror, a warm hug and an acknowledgment of the grotesque—beauty and terror encapsulating our shared stories. Thank you for putting it into words Gray. Your words are a balm for fresh wounds. I’m so grateful.

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Gray's avatar

omg Ophie!! 😭😭 i’m so sorry you’re going through this. chronic illness is a hell of a spiritual trip! one that leaves most of us permanently traumatized, withdrawn into ourselves. it DOES steal so much and i wish i could bring it all back. 🥺🩵

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Nairy Fstukh's avatar

SHEEEEEEEESH.

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Gray's avatar

AHHHHHHH i love you 🥹🫶

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Nairy Fstukh's avatar

I love you back!!

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Nairy Fstukh's avatar

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

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Sammi's avatar

Wow felt something in the depths of my soul reading this. Thank you for sharing a piece of you with us 🩷 to me, you are anything but “walleyed” you are an ethereal source connected to your light and dark and that my dear is powerful but I know you already know this about yourself 🙂‍↕️

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Gray's avatar

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

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Marien's avatar

🥺♥️ in spite of all the emptiness, there is much to feel here.

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Gray's avatar

sooooo much 🥹🌈

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Natanya's avatar

OUgh, this one is speaking to my *soul*. I give myself a lot of headaches and brain fog with my phone and computer (don’t worry, feeling clear rn) and I know that look—even if I don’t usually see it on my face from the outside, I can feel my eyes refusing to focus, drawing a heavy veil between me and… something. It really does feel like my mind isn’t mine anymore. The life just sucked out of it.

I’m gonna sit with this dark-stone-pool in my stomach that’s formed in response to your words (truly, the synesthesia is having a fun time with this feeling), let it guide me back to myself. There’s hope in there, there’s hope in this, that I didn’t realize I still needed. Keep the fuck at it Gray 🩶

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Gray's avatar

NATANYAAAA!!! i’m so glad we met on these here internets. truly a mutual mind crush 🥹😍❤️‍🔥

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Nyla's avatar

Wow

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jad3 lynx's avatar

haunting and beautiful. thanks for sharing. your drawing is captivating, i love it

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Gray's avatar

thank you so much, Jade 😭😭 thank you for reading!!

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Cara Claymore's avatar

Bravo and thank you 👏

"TV lit lagoons of decay" like holy shit. Chills.

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Gray's avatar

THANK YOUUUUUU

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Caroline Mellor's avatar

Blimey. Superb writing. Brave and beautifully crafted.

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Gray's avatar

omg thank you so much!! 🤩

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Josie George's avatar

So so good Gray! ✨

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Gray's avatar

thank you!!! thank you for reading, Josie!! 😍🫶

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